A Conversation with Adam Skolnick

Have you ever wanted to write someone's life story, perhaps one other than your own? The interview this month with my dear friend Adam Skolnick offers some great insight into the creative process behind his first narrative non-fiction book.

An experienced journalist, Adam was covering an international freediving competition in the Bahamas when the unthinkable happened. Renowned freediver Nicholas Mevoli died tragically during the competition just 10 feet away; and after covering the story for the New York Times, Adam couldn't shake the experience. Now three years later his book One Breath (Crown Archetype, January 2016) has hit the shelves. Through the portrait of this young man, Adam explores the fascinating sport of freediving and the desire of these unique athletes to push human limits.


Adam Skolnick has written for the New York Times, Playboy, Outside, ESPN.com, BBC.com, Salon.com, Men's Health, Wired, and Travel + Leisure, among others. He has visited 45 countries and authored or coauthored over 25 Lonely Planet guidebooks. His coverage of Nicholas Mevoli's death at Vertical Blue earned two APSE awards. From that emerged his narrative non-fiction book, One Breath -- a gripping and powerful exploration of the strange and fascinating sport of freediving, and of the tragic, untimely death of America's greatest freediver.

Skolnick shows sharp reportorial instincts in this multilayered narrative...This is a page-turning book... but it’s also about the competitors drawn to the sport, the ones for whom ‘freediving is both an athletic quest to push the limits of the body and mind, and a spiritual experience.’ A worthy addition to the growing body of literature on adventures that test the limits of nature and mankind.
— Kirkus Reviews
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Karin: When you wrote the book proposal, what did you find to be the biggest challenge?

Adam: Well, I think I had this book right away; it was going to be an Into the Wild story. And then I turned it into my agent. My agent didn't want to pin it all onto Nick. He thought maybe a more generic freediving book would be better. Easy to sell or easier to execute. He didn't want to over-promise, under-deliver type thing. I didn't agree with him, but I just thought, I actually have no idea how this world works. He does; I have to trust him. So I followed his lead.

Meanwhile, I'm just finishing up this Lonely Planet L.A. manuscript. I'm in the desert locked away in hiding; Coachella is going off all around me. A friend of mine happened to be in the desert - said there's an extra wristband if you want to come. I go out and end up falling into this Asian drug crew and having really speedy ecstasy. After an hour and half night's sleep, wide awake, I get a message from my agent saying Crown wants to talk to you about your book, can you talk to them? And I'm like, can I talk to them tomorrow? I'm not really in the condition... And of course I thought I'd blown it, like that's it, this is your chance and you're a druggy loser.

So the next day I get on the phone with him and he's saying, “I really like this world but what's the through-line, what's the narrative?” And so I say, “¥ou know, I was always going to write it this other way to be honest. Whoever was going to buy this book, I was always going to talk to them before I started writing; that this is the way it should be done.” He said, “I need three pages to give to people, we're still far from any deal.” So basically I had a day or two to come up with the three-page hook that pitched the narrative.

I know it was a process to get Nick's family to “buy in” so to speak. How did you get them to get behind you and this book - the telling of their son's story? 

My approach was, no matter what they say, I am going to get them to be a part of this. I didn't put too much pressure on that first meeting. I'm pretty organic. I think I blocked out four days to be in Tallahassee, maybe three days. And so that day, on my way there, I just realized I would tell his mom the story of how I came to be the witness to her son's death.

She opened the door, and right away she spun out, like, “Okay, what are you doing here, Adam? What do you want, why are you here, what's going on?” Like right away, I haven't even walked into the house. I said, “Okay, well, can we sit down and can I just tell you how I ended up being there that day?” And I told her the whole story and my own heartbreak. And before I was even done, she was talking. People want to talk.

When tragedy happens in your life - we're all grown ups, we've all had our share of bullshit - my experience of it is, at first everybody's there for you and wants to hear, and then pretty quickly three months later, they'll listen to you but pretty quickly their eyes will glaze over. It's not that they don't give a shit, it's that they don't have the capacity to give a shit anymore. And I was the type of person that, whenever you want to talk about this horrible thing that happened, I'm happy to talk about it. So in reality I filled a number of roles over the course of this thing for the family. I was kind of a surrogate nephew, I was a brother. I wouldn't go so far to say I was a surrogate son, but whenever anyone wanted to talk to me they knew they could. That, I think, has value for the family.

You know what I'm good at is 'access', that's really probably the thing I'm best at. It's never been a problem for me. I don't have any sort of plan or how I go about it. It's really pretty organic. I think anybody can be good at it. If you're interested and you're genuine, people want to talk about their stories. 

You said you had 10 weeks to write the first draft. Did you have a structure or writing ritual that you followed to meet that deadline?

My ritual is just, you gotta write 3,000 words a day if you're trying to meet a deadline like that. If you think about it, my goal was a 100,000-word manuscript, because that's about a 300-page book. So if you think about 3,000 words a day, that's a little over a month and you're done with a draft.

That might sound like a lot, but just think about that for a second. If you write 1,500 words a day, which all of you can do, that's two months.

And the reason I got to the 3,000 word number is from Lonely Planet manuscripts having very tight deadlines and having to produce them really quickly. At the time of my first one, I was still writing magazine stories every once in a while and didn't have to have that same attention span expansion. And a colleague told me, “You can do this, just do 3,000 words a day.” After a while, you do build up to that. It's a vibration, it just tunes up. At first it might be hard, you just keep doing it.

How you get there is an extremely detailed outline. I did a full outline with the editor, kind of mapped it out. I had each chapter outlined. Then when I got to that chapter I outlined it even further. I would break it down, what I wanted to say in that chapter. I'd funnel in all the information that was in my massive notes. I'd pop it in my outline.

The point I'm trying to say is, 3,000 words is only a lot if you don't know what you're going to say. That's when it becomes really hard. If you find yourself staring at the computer not knowing what to write, it means you don't know what you want to say. It doesn't mean you're blocked.

So if you can take that big mass white page and put it down to small little bricks, and just fill those spaces, it's much easier. Much easier. And then everything becomes demystified. 3,000 words a day, or make it a 1,000 words, or if you have a day job, 500 words. Even 500 words a day, in six months you're gonna have a book. That's not that much time.

What was the editing process like?

So then I wrote the whole thing. 430 pages is the first draft.  And I've got a week until I gotta turn it in. I was so happy to have finished the first draft and then I start reading it the next morning, and I think oh f**ck this is horrible. It's a failure.

But luckily I had a good friend come help me edit it. I had a week to go. So I start going through my first 50 pages and make my changes - and hand over those newly edited 50 to him. And he goes through those 50 and makes his notes. When he's done we get together and go over his edits. So pretty soon, almost immediately day one, we have three versions of this manuscript happening. We have the original raw one. We have the one I fixed. And we have the one he's fixing.

And that process gave us a great global view of things, because one of the biggest issues when you're doing what I was doing is, where am I repeating myself? - especially with physiology of freediving and the history of some of these athletes and all that. That's the best way to clean out stuff. But then also overall it just kind of distilled it.

By the time that first pass was done, in just a couple of days before moving on to the second pass, we found it. It was just right there.

I would never have predicted that, it was totally organic. And now I don't think I'll ever do another book any other way.

Where do you write?

For me at this point I travel so much, I can do it anywhere. I generally work better in the daytime. But if I want to swim, I still need to be in the water, so at one point I would be in the backseat of my friend's car on the way to the beach. I had rented a room from a friend in Hollywood for all this time. It's an hour each way to the beach, so I'd be in the backseat writing with the headphones, and on the way back with the headphones. At this point I'm an experienced reporter so I'm on the road a lot. It doesn't matter.

I think the sooner you can get out of the “precious environment” type of stuff that is totally natural to someone who is just getting into it as a real habit or a real lifestyle.... The sooner you can get out of that sanctimonious stuff, sanctifying the writing process, I think the more natural it becomes. That's my own personal take. It's not super sacred, it's just a practice.

 

To learn more about Adam Skolnick, visit adamskolnick.com

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A Conversation with Laurenne Sala

I'm thrilled to announce that my beautiful and supremely talented friend Laurenne Sala has released her very first children's picture book! Her journey to becoming the author of You Made Me A Mother happened quite unexpectedly when HarperCollins caught wind of a video for Boba Carriers that she wrote. In our conversation below, Laurenne shares a bit about the process and offers some helpful insights and resources for those of you who may have a picture book percolating in you!


LAURENNE SALA began her career as an advertising copywriter, writing national campaigns for clients like KIA Motors, Jack-in-the-Box, and Beats by Dre. She has written everything from the copy on a VitaminWater bottle to funny videos for BuzzFeed. After hiding lots of family drama during her teens and twenties, she finally told all her secrets on stage and in writing, which helped her feel such catharsis that she started her own storytelling show, Taboo Tales. She leads writing workshops and speaks at colleges around the country in order to help others create comedy pieces out of their authentic stories and give them the opportunity to release them on stage in front of a live audience.

Laurenne's first picture book You Made Me a Mother is a sweet celebration of motherhood and will hopefully make both kids and moms feel special. It's for kids between 4-8 and is illustrated by Robin Glasser, who also draws Fancy Nancy! She's fallen in love with the kid lit community, with You Made Me a Father to follow, and she hopes there'll be many more picture books to come. Find out more at laurennesalabooks.com.

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Karin: How is writing a picture book similar or different than other kinds of writing you do?

Laurenne: Many people think writing a picture book is simple. They're so short and seem like a breeze. BUT, since they are so short, every single word is so important. Every single sentence has to have a reason for being, and that can drive a writer crazy. There's no time for embellishment or setting of the scene since the illustrator can do that. So, the problem usually begins on the first page and then a subtle message follows. I am not a fan of subtlety. I love to end my personal essays with big old morals to make sure every reader is learning the lessons I learned. But kids are learning lessons all day. They want to read for fun or so that it lulls them to sleep. The trend in picture books now it to steer clear of didactic morals and let the reader come to her own conclusions.

Also, language is so important. Alliteration, sounds, rhythm. I just heard the other day that picture books use even more of a variety of vocabulary than news articles! I find myself using more poetry than I normally would in order to make it more fun for the reader to string the words together in her mouth. 

I would like to take a lot of picture book lessons with me to my other forms of writing. 

Did you collaborate at all with the illustrator? If so, can you describe the process?

When they partnered me with Robin Preiss Glasser, I was SO intimidated at first. I think she's spent 300 weeks on the New York Times best-sellers list. And whenever you whisper the words “Fancy Nancy,” people usually know exactly what you mean. So, I didn't feel like I could give Robin a call to assert my opinions on her illustrations. But I didn't have to! I LOVED what she did. Even when I saw the black-and-whites, I fell in love with the family she invented. They are adorable. I love the story she wrote for them in her own way. I love how she infused her own motherhood experience in these pages. Some writers never meet their illustrators, but I was lucky in that Robin might be the nicest and most open and loving person on the planet. She invited me over to her house. She held my hand through the whole ugly marketing process. She shared the struggles she had early on so that I could learn from them. She sat me down on her bed and went through her contact list for me. I mean, she's truly an incredible person. It's like I was paired with an illustrator and mentor all at once. So lucky! I couldn't be happier with how the illustrations turned out.

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The poem originally made moms cry when it was released as a video for Boba baby carriers, and I was nervous that without the visuals in the video, the book version would fall flat. But, Robin was able to so aptly illustrate the magic of motherhood and the way a child begins to let go of a mother's hand. I think together we are now making more moms cry than the video did! 

You're not a mother YET, so how did you manage to tap into that unique experience?

Oh, it's coming soon! And now that I've been reading this book at schools and hanging around kindergarteners, I'm dying for my own funny kid more and more each day. I'm getting married in September, so we'll see! BUT, I think one thing that helped me write from a mom's POV is empathy. Sure, I have written as some fictional characters from time to time, but it wasn't until I went to get my Masters in Psychology that I learned what empathy really was. It's actually imagining yourself in someone else's shoes rather than sympathy, which is just feeling sorry for someone. I noticed how great it felt to do that and to truly understand my clients. So, for two years during school at the University of Santa Monica, I practiced empathy. I practiced becoming someone else in order to understand them better. I even decided to write a memoir from my father's point of view, which helped bring me to a total understanding of who he was and why he left! I highly recommend that exercise! To put myself in a mother's shoes, I simply imagined what my mom must have felt when I was growing up and when I was leaving her to live across the country. 

Plus, this book is a culmination of my family's idea of motherhood. I asked my mom and my cousins and my friends what it was like to bring a baby home for the first time and what it was like during the hard parts. I am lucky to have some very honest friends and family who helped me visualize what it all feels like. One line that's in the video and not the book is from my mom. And I love it: Motherhood makes you want to fall at your mom's feet and tell her you get it. I am looking forward to that feeling.

What is one big thing you learned about writing a picture book that might be useful to others who have ideas for one?

One big thing about picture books is that they are truly fun and that most picture book writers love what they do. I wasn't used to that. I freelance often and in many offices, people hate their jobs! Picture book writers get to be silly, hang out with kids, and what they write can truly be meaningful to someone whose growing brain needs some good lessons or to just feel loved. If you want to write a picture book, I say do it! The community is welcoming, and kids always need to learn from different voices. A good place to start is SCBWI, the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators. Plus, this ebook helps a lot.

Can you share a little bit about what you teach in your workshops? What is your approach to helping people create comedy pieces out of their personal stories?

I run writing workshops through Taboo Tales, a storytelling show with a certain kind of tone that is not AT ALL like picture books (In fact, I had somewhat of an existential crisis when trying to build a website that covers both topics). Our motto is: The more we all talk about how Fucked up we are, the more normal we all feel. As you know, Karin, and as Brené  Brown says, “The way to release shame is through story.” We first make a list of things we would never tell anyone ever. And those who dare choose the one that scares them the most. We then spend the day working with that topic. We share it in a completely non-judgmental atmosphere. And after the deep stuff comes up (often involving tears), we learn to laugh at it. There are ALWAYS truths about our experience that are inherently funny. Laughing about the absurdities is just as healing as speaking the story out loud. If the story took place during a certain time, it could be funny to think about your old beliefs during that time. Or things people said to you during your experience when they didn't understand it. Assumptions. Clothing styles. It's all pretty funny when you think about it.  

 

To learn more about Laurenne Sala, visit laurenne.com

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A Conversation with Paula Mallis

I'm excited to announce that I'll be leading a new workshop Write Your Birthing Story which will be taking place on Sunday, March 6th, hosted by Paula Mallis at her home in Venice. Paula is a doula who has been holding circles for women to gather, share and witness each others' stories around pregnancy and birth. As a mother, with my own birthing story, I'm thrilled to co-create this space with her! Read more about Paula and the workshop below.


PAULA MALLIS is a mother, doula, yoga teacher, meditation guide and facilitator of women circles living in Venice. When she was pregnant and traveling on her own journey into motherhood, something shifted. She experienced a spiritual awakening that allowed her the opportunity to choose a more conscious way to approach her life as a woman and mother. In her practice, she blends her experience as a mother, her expertise as a doula and her extensive training in yoga, as a meditation guide and facilitator. Sharing what she knows and supporting women as they make their own journey into motherhood is her deepest passion.

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Karin: Tell us about the Birthing Circle and how it came to be?

Paula: Over the past few years I've been holding circles to give women an opportunity to come and share; really just take a pause to share their transition from being a maiden to being a mother. A part of that transition is by sharing the birthing story that they have experienced in bringing their child into the world. And what I've experienced from holding a space like this is women not realizing how important it was to their healing process to actually pause and go back and share this story which, you know, was maybe one of the most amazing days of their life. And how there really isn't a safe non-judgmental space to share the story.

Being in my own experience having been pregnant and having given birth to my daughter a little over three-and-a-half years ago, I connected with other pregnant women; there were four of us. After we gave birth to our children and they were all either hours or at the most two weeks apart, we got together postpartum and shared our birth stories with each other. It was so beautiful; it was in my tiny little apartment and the four of us sitting around nursing our babies. It was just so special and so powerful to really honor each other and our journeys and what we had gone through and the birthing story that really brought us into motherhood. It was such a beautiful time to share and be together, and so from that I felt inspired to continue to offer that in a space for women to come and experience the same.

How does your “other role” as a doula support this work you're doing, or does it?

Yes absolutely. Part of my practice with my doula clients is going back for a postpartum visit and really debriefing and going over the birth story. And whatever comes up, the joys of the birth, the challenges of the birth, the “Aha” moments really bring our time together to completion. If there are any challenges or moments that they feel that the dots didn't connect for whatever reason, just really being there for my clients; being able to help facilitate any healing or reframing that needs support for the birth however it unfolded or really came into manifestation.

In doing these circles over the last couple of years, have you found that there is any kind of common story thread or theme?

Yes. Well I think the number one thing that comes up for them is, “I am so grateful that I had this space while I was pregnant and that I was willing to show up and hear these stories from the other women because when it came to a moment of questioning or challenge [during my own birthing experience], I was able to tune back in to the circle and remember the stories and remember the strength and remember the courage that all of them had had.” It's just so much gratitude for the circle and that they had an opportunity to be a part of it during their pregnancy.

And then the other thing that 99.9% of women say is, “My birth plan went out the window. What I thought was going to happen just did not happen.” Even if the outcome was absolutely joyful and bliss, for whatever reason in every woman's experience they were just like, “Birth plan? Forget it. It went nothing like I thought it was going to go.” That lesson seems to be one of the number one lessons in birth, the letting go and the surrendering.

I can relate to that for sure.

Yes, me too.

From a doula's perspective, what's the most unique birth experience or story that you've witnessed?

Oh wow. That's interesting. I would love to write a book one day on birth stories through a doula's eyes because I am witnessing the birth story as it happens, the entire birth story I'm a part of. 

One of the most amazing things is the second birth that I ever went to the baby was born in the sac. To be born in the sac is a very mystical thing, it's a very magical thing; it's kind of like an omen. Every baby is a blessing, but being born in the sac is kind of like an extra blessing. It's a pretty miraculous thing to watch as well.

From a personal standpoint, part of what intrigued me about co-creating a workshop with you is how struck I am that I don't share my own birthing story more often. Why we don't talk about it, when it happens to be for every woman a pretty transformative, defining event?

Yeah, I think that so much more is focused on what stroller you're going to get and when's the crib coming. Back in the day it was absolutely a part of gathering and being in the circle and being with women and sharing in this way. I don't know if you've ever read The Red Tent, but it's very much about being in circle and storytelling and sharing. The wisdom of the grandmother was shared with the mother which was shared with the daughter. And that's how women gathered information was through storytelling and through the lineage. So there was no misunderstanding; everyone understood what childbirth was.

But this day and age, we're not necessarily living near families or maybe our mothers or sisters aren't emotionally available to support in the way that we need while we're birthing. So I think it's just culturally we've gotten away from connecting as women and supporting each other through the most powerful day of our lives. When people do share their birth story you hear more negativity than you do positivity around the birthing experience. So my intention is to create the space, structured in a way where it doesn't really matter if you've had a traumatic birth or not. All birth stories are received with love and are honored all in the same way. No one comments back or gives any feedback. It's simply a space to share and to be witnessed and heard.

Hear-hear. That's a great lead-in to my last question about our upcoming collaboration, which I'm excited about!

Me too.

What do you envision for this workshop?

I think what will be beautiful about us collaborating is giving women the opportunity to go deeper and the healing that might come forth, using writing as a tool to heal a part of a woman's birth story that she may not be settled with. Or maybe she wishes that it looked a little different or maybe she just wants to acknowledge that moment of seeing her baby for the first time and that moment of joy and bliss and excitement and really just take a pause and write that out and see what comes forward. And so I'm just excited to hold the space and witness what you bring in your work and have women experience your work. 

Another thing I hear from women is, “Oh I wish I had just written my birth story down right after it happened. I just wish I had it to give my daughter or my son one day so they could read their story of coming into the world.” So I am excited about the opportunity to write and just be in the curiosity of it and open to how it unfolds.

 

To learn more about Paula Mallis, visit paulamallis.com

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